Don’t Wanna. Don’t Hafta. I’m Bob!
I once had a friend that was born in a town called Usa in Japan. His father was there in the Occupation Army in ‘49. So people would ask on forms… Place of birth, he would write, “Usa” and that would satisfy them.
Usa is located in Oita Prefecture on Kyushu Island.
You know what would really PISS OFF the Democrats…
Bush should resign now.
Then Dick Cheney becomes President (that would really PISS OFF the liberals)!!!
Then he appoints Condoleezza Rice as Vice President.
Then Cheney resigns two weeks later and Condoleezza Rice, A Republican, becomes the first BLACK President and the first WOMAN President !!!
As I hear these “incredible” quotes I will post them here to my blog….hopefully on a day-to-day basis.
As I walked into the garden door of WalMart the entryway to the main store was blocked by two women and their baskets. Scattered around the carts were about six kids all under the age of 10. One little boy was excitedly shouting, pointing and jumping up and down. The woman, who I assume was his mother, calmly looked at him and said, “Jimmy, will you just calm down and eat your candy.”
On the way out of WalMart with my prescription in hand, I was following a lady pushing a stroller with three little kids holding onto the stroller for dear life, the oldest being no more than six or seven. The lady had on these REALLY tight white linen pants. It was easy to see that she was wearing underpants with the words, “Hot Mama” written across the butt. My only thought, as I tried real hard not to stare was, “No sh*t, ‘Hot Mama’…four kids under the age of six or seven.”
Oh, and as a point of qualification…. The word “weird” is a weird word because it doesn’t follow the “I” before “E” except after “C” absolute rule…. That is the weird explanation about why weird is weird.
Like it or not, but there are basic differences between the branches of the United States Armed Services.
If you give the command “SECURE THAT BUILDING”, to a sailor, a soldier, a Marine and an airman, here is what each of the different services will do to carry out that order:
The NAVY will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The ARMY will surround the building with defensive fortifications, tanks and concertina wire.
The MARINE CORPS will assault the building, killing everyone inside using overlapping fields of fire from all appropriate points on the perimeter.
The AIR FORCE would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy the building.
And you Sand Crabs (Navy jargon for civilians) think I’m kidding. Boy, have I got news for you.
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